Tonight I felt like the biggest failure. For a brief moment, I allowed disappointment to get the better of me as the gap between my expectations and my reality grew to epic proportions. All of a sudden the perceived failures of an emotionally challenging week conglomerated together into an insumountable mountain. I lost site of what was in front of me and focused on what was never going to be.
Thoughts such as "Why did I bother?" and " Nobody cares" began to spring up like poisonous cancers, envelpoing my mind like the morning fog.
It made me think how important our emotions truly are and more specifically how fragile my ego had become. I mean no-one had done anything wrong or deliberatley caused me pain, and yet here I was momentarily feeling abandoned by the greatest injustice known to mankind.
Fortunately I was able to change my focus and look at the good things. I began to focus on the people who had made an effort to come; although small in number. I came to notice not who wasn't there, but rather who was. I shifted my intention from the great victory i had intended, to the matters of my own heart.
Our failure, both real and perceived has the ability to teach us more about ourselves than success ever will. We all make mistakes, but we don't all learn form them. Tonight may have appeared to be a failure on the surface but I know that I learnt a valuable lesson.
It is in the midst on my perceived failure, that the seeds of my future success will germinate.....
It may stink of manure, but it's necessary for growth.....
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